Naruto: Alternate Dimension Adopted
by The Crimson Apocrypher
Summary: Adopted from & with permission from dthegrimm  Join the adventures of Anko, her three daughters and their 'hot' boy-toy Naruto through this AU - where Anko wasn't the only experiment that survived Sea Country - as they live their lives and live it up!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Yo folks, Crims here! **

(Prinnies scramble on stage holding a banner saying 'Welcome!')

**Unfortunately, DtheGrimm has been forced to make the decision to put his stories up for adoption due to not having enough time to write between college and his weekly 500-mile commutes so I've taken it up to carry on with at least N:AD and its' side-stories (with the possibility of his two other NaruTen stories later).**

**So here it is, N:AD – **_**my**_** way!**

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**Chapter 1: Nightmares of the Past**

Purple hair matted to her head from the cold sweat, Anko Mitarashi snapped straight into a sitting position as she gasped for air. More nightmares saw fit to plague her again, despite her attempts to drown them in sake. Flashes of the horrors she was victim to while being under _his_ instruction flashed through her mind, seeing the pale face of her former sensei looking over her naked form strapped to the exam table. She honestly had no cognitive idea as to what happened after the two of them had left the village that last time until she had been found by Konoha's ANBU in Sea Country, but Anko just wished people would believe her when she said she never knew what her sensei had done outside of their missions and training sessions.

Orochimaru…

The special jonin remembered when she first found out about Orochimaru's twisted experiments and the poor souls he was conducting them on. Three of them were currently under the same roof as her, having since then brought them into her house as her own. The mere thought of what would happen if they had been found by someone else in the village made her shiver almost as bad as her own shattered memories of the experiments done unto her. She wouldn't have been able to live with herself so long as they were left unprotected from the whims of the rest of the village – orders of the council be damned! On that note, Anko got up out of bed, put on a kimono and walked out of her room to check on the three girls who were like daughters to her.

The first door she came to out in the hall had a sign on it that said 'Kin's Room – Check your sanity at the door.' She had to grin at that as she opened the door.

The walls of Kin's room were covered with both posters for heavy metal bands and pictures of girls who were known members of Sasuke Uchiha's Fan Club – the latter of which had several throwing weapon imbedded in them like macabre darts on a dartboard. A huge stereo system sat on a shelf over the head of her with wires connecting to several large speakers, different types of guitars hanging off wall racks on either side of the system.

Standing out from the other guitars was a strange-looking one that looked more like some kind of machine rather than a musical instrument. But Anko knew what it was. It was Kin's weapon of choice. A guitar that not only fired off blasts of sonic waves, but was also used as a melee weapon as it could be configured into a scythe or a spear.

Lying in her bed was Kin herself. She was dressed in a black tank top and violet panties that had black bats pattered on them. She was sleeping peacefully, but she wasn't under her covers. Anko pulled her blanket over her and kissed the dark-haired girl on her forehead before leaving to check on the others.

Next to Kin's was Tayuya's room. The door had a picture of a skull with two flutes crossed in the background. Anko looked inside to see that the redhead's room was a little messy with some books and magazines on the floor. Like Kin, Tayuya was a collector of musical instruments, but she collected flutes instead of guitars – fitting considering her abilities.

Also like Kin, there was one instrument that Tayuya favored over the others. It was a flute that appeared to be made of ivory with a dragon weaved around it. To anyone unfamiliar with the temperamental redhead, it looked like a really fancy flute, but those close to Tayuya knew better, for she endowed the flute with necromantic powers, a 'gift bestowed' by Orochimaru.

Tayuya was sound asleep in her bed with the covers pulled over her. Only her head and shoulders were visible. Anko could hear the redhead mumble something in her sleep. She couldn't be sure, but it sounded like she said "Rancid cunts. No one talks about my family like that." She smiled as she gently kissed Tayuya on her forehead which seemed to calm her down.

Across from Tayuya's room and next to her own was Tenten's room, which had a few shuriken and kunai daggers stuck in the door. Tenten's was probably the cleanest out of the three of her surrogate daughters; a place for everything and everything in its place. There were a few posters on the walls, but they were generally overlooked due to the numerous weapons that were mounted on the walls. There were several katanas of different sizes, spears, a set of metal claws that could be attached to someone's wrists and boots, a couple pairs of tonfa sticks and numerous other weapons that had a point or an edge.

Tenten was also asleep in her bed. Anko moved a few strand of Tenten's hair away from her face and just like her other daughters, kissed on the forehead and walked out, satisfied that her children were safe. Still unable to sleep, Anko made her way towards the kitchen. Maybe there was something for her to fix so she could get back to sleep.

The sound of water running from the kitchen sink could be heard. Anko tensed for a moment, but relaxed upon recognizing the chakra signature. "So you couldn't sleep either, eh Naruto?" Anko asked as she entered the kitchen.

Pouring a glass of water was a young man in his mid teens. Even in the darkness, Anko could see his long golden blonde hair with the streaks of red in it. He turned towards Anko at the sound of her voice.

"Not really. Mouth was feeling a little dry," Naruto said, drinking the water he just poured. Anko looked at the boy as he drank, taking in his features. Most notably the blue eyes and the whisker-like marks on his cheeks. He was in decent shape. Not surprising considering the training program that was part of the Leaf Village Ninja Academy. Hell, if he was a few years older and she was a little younger, Anko would try to put the moves on the boy. But alas, it would not happen as the young man was already taken by her daughters.

And Anko would never come between him and her daughters.

"You okay Anko?" Naruto asked.

Anko shook off her current line of thought to speak with him. "Yeah, just thinking about… things."

"Anything you wanna talk about?" The blonde asked.

"Not really," Anko replied; she didn't want Naruto or the girls to know what was troubling her because she didn't want them to worry needlessly. Looking at Naruto, the purplette couldn't help but think back on the day that she and her daughters met him and how he became part of their family.

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_Several years ago_

A teenage Anko Mitarashi was walking down the street with her three five year-old daughters in tow. The young, purple haired woman noticed the glares and ugly remarks being thrown towards her and the girls but she was a fairly thick-skinned individual – in more ways than one – but in this case, it meant that she didn't let the negativity from the villagers get to her. To be purely honest, she didn't give two shits and a rat's ass what people thought of her.

What pissed her off was the fact that they directing some of their more vicious insults towards the three girls walking with her.

"Oh look. It's the snake bitch and the little freaks."

"As if that little demon brat was bad enough, we have that traitorous slut and those three little monsters running around too."

"I don't know why the Hokage doesn't just let us just kill them. We don't need our children exposed to such filth."

Anko managed to keep a poker face, but she was ready to turn this area into one big morgue if the ignorant fucks didn't cool it with the insults. She then looked down at Tayuya, Tenten and Kin and felt her heart ache. The poor things looked absolutely miserable.

As Anko and the three little girls walked along, they didn't notice a couple of villagers hanging out in an alley. Their plan was simple: jump out of hiding while wearing masks to put a scare into the little brats while getting a good laugh at their expense. So when Anko and the girls were about to pass by, the villagers executed their cruel joke, getting the response they were hoping for from the girls… except they were not anticipating one thing:

Kin's reaction

An interesting tidbit: you see, Orochimaru's experiments on Kin had resulted in the black haired girl possessing superhuman vocal cords, which could amplify the volume of Kin's voice to supersonic levels. So, when Kin screamed in terror from the idiot villagers looking to scare the little ones for some cheap laughs, it was so loud and so powerful that it sent the fools flying into the wall of a building, not to mention shattering every window in the area.

Anko quickly turned around to the three scared girls and tried calm them down. Kin looked like she was the worst for wear as she saw what she accidentally did. She looked at Anko with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry." Kin said before she began to weep. Anko wrapped her arms around the terrified little girl and whispered to her.

"It's okay my little one. It's okay. I'm here."

However, when Anko could sense open hostility in the air, she turned to see that all activity in the area had stopped. Everyone looked at the purple haired kunoichi and the three scared girls holding onto her as if she were her lifeline.

"Did you see that? That little freak assaulted those people and almost destroyed the market!"

"Screw what the Hokage says. Those monsters are a menace! Even more than the fox brat!"

"KILL THEM!"

In a heartbeat, Anko put Kin on her back and grabbed Tayuya and Tenten.

"Hang on tight you three," Anko said before taking off down another alley with a mob of angry self righteous villagers right behind them. Anko spared a looked behind them to see that some shinobi had also given chase. Chunin and Genin mostly and thankfully no Jonin.

After about fifteen minutes of running, she stopped upon reaching a dead end. Before she could turn back, a kunai dagger flew past Anko's head and got embedded in the wall. Anko turned to see that the villagers and the ninjas had them cornered.

"Nowhere left for you or those freaks to run, bitch." One of the ninjas sneered. Anko gently let the three girls down and then got in front of them. Kin, Tayuya and Tenten then hid behind Anko's legs, shaking with fear.

"Why are you being so mean to us?" little Tenten cried. "What did we do to you?"

"Just leave us alone, you meanies!" Tayuya shouted, trying not to let her fear show, but was doing a very unconvincing job.

Kin was so scared, she couldn't speak, but her young mind was in turmoil. It was because of her that she, her sisters and her mother were being chased and now it looked like the mean people were going to hurt them. _"If those scary people didn't scare me, we wouldn't be in this mess."_ Kin looked at the angry mob and felt great anger at them. _"Stupid people. I hate them. I hate them all!"_

Anko assumed a defensive taijutsu stance. "Tayuya, Tenten, Kin, listen carefully. While I distract them, you three run and find a place to hide. I will find you soon."

"But Mama-" Tenten began.

"Don't argue with me, just do it!" Anko said as she got ready.

The people in the mob looked amused. "Let's get rid of these pieces of trash." One of them said.

"LEAVE THEM ALONE!" came a young, but angry voice from above. Everyone, including Anko and the girls, looked up in time to see a shadowy figure coming down from a roof and landing in between the mob and the girls.

Anko blinked to see that it was a small boy with messy blonde who was wearing ratty looking clothes probably fished out of a dumpster. From what Anko could tell, he was probably the same age as her daughters and even though she never seen him before, Anko knew who this boy was. The whisker marks on his cheeks were a bit of a dead giveaway.

"_It's that kid who has the Nine-tails sealed inside him. But what's he doing here? And what can he do?"_ Anko thought as the boy turned to face the villagers.

The initial shock from the boy's entrance wore off as far as the villagers went as their malicious facial expressions returned. A few snickers could be heard.

"Well, well. Look whose come to join the party."

"Looks like it's our lucky day, boys. Not only do we get to get to kill the snake bitch and those freaks of hers, but we get to take out the demon too."

The blonde boy just stood there, facing the villagers. He turned his head to look at Anko and her daughters. "You and those girls may want to get behind something, lady," he told Anko.

Before Anko could ask, she noticed that a reddish orange aura began to surround the boy. Even she could sense some kind of powerful force coming from the blonde. The three girls just looked on, their eyes wide with curiosity and wonder. Anko quickly grabbed them and ducked behind a dumpster farther back in the alley, holding her daughters close as she could feel intense heat and hear screams of fear and pain.

The screams continued for a few moments before it was quiet again. The heat Anko felt was also gone. The woman poked her head out from behind the dumpster to see that the Nine Tails' vessel was standing with his back to her. The rest of the alley in front of the boy looked scorched.

Anko could hear the labored breathing coming from the boy as he turned around to face her. "Are you all okay?" He asked. By this time, Kin, Tayuya and Tenten poked their heads out to see. They all nodded their heads to answer the boy's question.

"Good. I'm glad." That was all he said before he fell to the ground.

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_Present_

"What are you thinking about, Anko-sensei?"

Anko came out of her thoughts and was back in the present. She smiled as she looked at the boy who saved them all those years ago. "Just thinking back to we first met you… and how you fried those fucks," she said with a smile.

Naruto grinned. "Yeah... Seems just like yesterday, doesn't it?" He then yawned while covering his mouth. "Well, I'm heading back to bed. Night. "

"Hey wait," Anko said, stopping the blonde, "one last thing." She then kissed Naruto on his forehead. "It helps the girls sleep, so no reason not to think that it won't work for you."

Naruto smiled. "Thanks…and good night." With that, the Nine Tails' vessel made his way toward his room.

"Night kid," was her response to his retreating back, starting to feel sleepy herself as she made her way back to her room.

On the way, Anko looked back on how Naruto affected her and her daughters. Before he came along, poor Kin would never talk out of fear that simply talking would destroy something. But thanks to Naruto, the raven haired girl was like a chatterbox. Tayuya and Tenten wouldn't be as confident in their abilities as they were without the boy and they were happy that he accepted them and vice versa. Because really, that was what they all wanted: acceptance.

Too bad a vast majority of those fools in the village were not the accepting type, unless, of course, they were accepting a bribe. But that was alright. Eventually, they would learn to accept something new… Pain… and a lot of it for all the hell that those fools put her, her daughters and Naruto through.

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(Prinnies hold up a banner saying - )

_**Original A/N snippet:**_

**For those of you who need some info on this particular series, check out my (dthegrimm) bio page. But here is a description of the abilities that Anko, Naruto, Kin, Tenten and Tayuya have**

**Anko**: Basically Anko's abilities are the same as the anime, but instead of snakes, she uses dragons. She also has the Curse Mark, which again, she has all the benefits but she is not linked to Orochimaru. She can also transform like the Sound Five and Sasuke did in the anime and manga. Anko's Level two gives her a dragon-like appearance with armored scales, wings and claws. Kin, Tayuya & Tenten also have curse marks, but Anko gave them control over them, so just like Anko, the girls have the benefits from the Curse Mark and none of the weaknesses. Anko offered to give Naruto a curse mark, but declined since he has the Nine-tails power and doesn't need it. Besides, the Nine-Tails would just negate the mark anyway.

**Kin**: The Kin of this story is radically different from her anime / manga counterpart. Instead of bells and senbon, Kin's weapon of choice is a guitar-like weapon that, if anything, is similar to the Nevan weapon from Devil May Cry 3. It is not just a musical instrument, but it can fire off deadly sound waves that can shatter titanium and can also be used as a melee weapon since it can morph into a scythe-like weapon. Orochimaru's experiments on Kin have resulted in her possessing superhuman vocal cords, so she can raise her voice to supersonic levels and release sonic blasts by screaming. Kin's Level Two Curse form gives her an almost vampiric appearance with pale skin, fangs, bat-like wings and red eyes.

**Tayuya**: The Tayuya of this story is pretty much the same as the temperamental redhead from the manga and anime. Her Level Two form still gives her a demonic appearance and she still summon and control the Doki with her flute. But I expanded upon that. Not only does she control the Doki with her flute, she can also manipulate the dead, much like Inu-Yasha's Kagura did with her fan. Tayuya is more of a necromancess in this story. She is also slightly telepathic, but she doesn't rely on it as much

**Tenten**: Ability-wise, Tenten in this story is more or less like Wolverine and Witchblade. When experimenting on Tenten, Orochimaru put her through something similar to the Weapon X process. She has regenerative abilities and an indestructible skeleton. Unlike everyone's favorite clawed killing machine, Tenten can have liquid metal seeping out of any pore, kind of like Kidomaru did with his metal-like webbing and thus can coat herself with a living suit of armor like Witchblade. The metal Tenten controls is extremely light and doesn't affect her weight. She can also form weapons with the metal like Kidomaru did.

**Naruto**: In this story, Naruto meets the Nine-tails when he is very young and the Nine-tails is a she here, acting more like Naruto's mother. Because of all the hatred directed at him, Naruto turns his back on the village. He's not going to be god-like strong here, just a little smarter. Though that's not to say the Nine-tails doesn't grant Naruto some abilities. Mainly, Naruto has pyrokinesis, which obviously lets him generate and control fire. He meets Anko and her sisters when he is about seven years old. Since they share his contempt for the village, Naruto joins Anko and her cause, provided they don't do anything until the Third passes on.

(Prinnies switch banners)

_**Crims' A/N**_

**Alright fans, this concludes the start of my adoption of **_**Naruto: Alternate Dimensions**_**. I'm going to be using this opportunity to effectively (attempt) at jump-starting the inspiration for my original stories here soon while working over N:AD as well as its' side projects. No promises so don't hold anything against me if I miss a **_**projected**_** release, but I'm going to **_**attempt**_** to upload a chapter every week for this project until I've phased through the original material; by then, I should hopefully have an inkling of where I'm going to be taking it unless I can pick DtheGrimm's brain for his original plots and ideas.**

**I will say this for certain though: be expecting to see the next chapter of **_**Personas Shattered**_** between now and the time I get the rest of the original N:AD material tweaked and uploaded.**

'**Til then my rabid followers!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, I don't own **_**Naruto**_** – because if I did, things would probably follow a much more realistic set of rules regarding the duties and qualities of a real shinobi environment – and this is, for the most part, still the original N:AD that DtheGrimm originally created. Until I've plowed through the original material that is…**

**One last thing before I move on: to the retarded fuck-monkey calling himself 'Doom Marine 54' – **

**Next time you go about trying to challenge something like characters ages (that, in this case, have not been otherwise stated so the author is most likely working with non-changed ages from the start of the series) do some GODDAMNED research! I did some digging around, and as to your complaint about Anko's age and her not being old enough? By the time the series started at 12 years after Kyuubi attacked, Anko was no less than 3 years old (based on Yamato's admitted age being at least 26 in Shippuden), and as of the time this fic takes place is thusly at least 41. These are based on working backwards from Yamato's age and the most likely guess that Orochimaru didn't get caught & fled Konoha until after she reached chunin at the age of 12 (no direct connections indicate if it was pre- or post-chuni promotion so I'm going with post that Oro-pedo's experiments were finally exposed).**

**So yeah… next time, do some fucking research and if you're going to bitch about something (no matter how stupid it ends up making you look in the end…) get a goddamned account and post your complaints with a means for me to refute your pissing/moaning like a real man. Because honestly, I would have preferred to bite your head off, shit down your throat and shove your head up your ass so you could see how full of shit you really are via PMs rather than making you look like a fucking ass in front of all the other readers.**

_Original A/N snippet_

**AN: In this story, the Ninja academy is a 12-year school, so when people graduate and become Genin, they are around 17 or 18. The reason I did this is so they can enjoy their lives while they still can before they go out into the real world and take on the harsh lifestyle of a ninja. Just thought I'd point that out.**

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**Chapter 2: A New Test**

Anko looked at her daughters slash students as well as the object of their affection and felt a great amount of pride. They had all passed the Genin Preliminary Exam just the other day, much to the chagrin and utter shock of some of the instructors. Naruto and the girls had among the lowest scores in the Academy. This was not because they were stupid or lazy. Far from it; it was because they were practicing one of the most potent traits in a ninja's arsenal.

Deception.

After all, which is easier to prepare for? Someone who lets all of their techniques be known, like the Uchiha? Or individuals, like Naruto and the girls, who only reveal what they want to reveal and are far more calculating than they appear?

Thanks to some persuasion – and some subtle threats – Anko had been assigned as their jonin instructor. She noted that the four teens had changed their looks over the years that more than matched their concealed skills. All in all, the purplette was quite pleased and was just salivating at the reactions they would be receiving from the unknowing village populace soon enough.

Naruto wore almost all black. He sported a black t-shirt with faded black jeans with holes in both knees. He also wore a black trench coat with the sleeves ripped off, making it more like a big vest. Rather than standard sandals, he wore combat boots with steel plates reinforcing the toes and heels, with steel grinding plates running across the soles between the two separate tread areas on the balls and heels. His hitai-ite plate had been removed from the cloth strap and had been affixed to the left shoulder of his jacket, similar to an epaulet. As one last change, he had somehow managed to get his hair to at least spike out towards the back of his head now, somewhat looking like a hedgehog from a cartoon they had watched as kids rather than its old sea urchin appearance.

Tenten drastically changed her look. She still had her trademark twin hair buns on top of her head, but the rest of her long dark brown hair had been tied into two long braids that reached down to her lower back thus providing her with the hair that she refused to give up while simultaneously maintaining its unobtrusive presence in combat. She also wore a black kimono with dark blue trim along the edges, something Anko had to have specially ordered to be meant for both fashion as well as function. The sleeves of this kimono had actually been order to be half a foot longer than normal as well as twice the normal circumference in order to make it tougher for her opponents to predict what her hands were doing – especially considering there were seals woven into the inner liner of the altered sleeves that housed her large supply of combat gear. She, along with her sisters, had forgone the standard shinobi sandals like Naruto had but instead went with kunoichi-centric heeled sandals that had a three-inch heel that were outfitted to have steel underneath the outer layer of the wing-tip toes. The brunette's hitai-ite plate had also been removed from the cloth and affixed to her left sleeve, two inches up from the end.

Tayuya also wore a kimono, only hers had dark red trim as well as intricate designs on the kimono. The bottom part did reveal her legs more than a typical kimono would, but it revealed that she wore skin tight black shorts underneath – anything skimpier was for Naruto's eyes only. Unlike Tenten's kimono, the redhead's had normal sleeves in dimension but she did have the seals on the lining as well, one especially within reach that contained her combat flute. Her wild red hair hd since been constrained to a single braid that ran over her left shoulder and down to her hip, with a bell the size of her fist containing the end of it as a pair of bangs framed her face. Like her sister, Tayuya's plate had been affixed to a sleeve but it was on her right side.

Kin's new wardrobe consisted of tight-fitting, black and grey camouflage pants, a tight charcoal t-shirt that looked more like a sports bra that revealed her flat stomach and also wore a sleeveless trench coat – if one were to look, there was a well-hidden slit running from the bottom of her neck to the small of her back in the middle. Her plate had been fastened to the right shoulder of her coat similarly to Naruto's.

One thing the lot of them had to resist now was the urge to immediately drag a kunai across the plates in front of the village, even though they knew they would be able to make it out _relatively_ unscathed. The rest of the Ninja Corps? Eh... not so much…

_"Now, how should I test them? It can't be too easy. The old man may have looked the other way for a lot of the stuff that we have done, but I'm getting the idea that I am a small step away from going into 'Favor Debt' with him. Besides, the kids would see something simplistic as an insult and I can't do that to them."_ Anko thought to herself. _"The Bell Test? Too easy. A survival test here in the forest? Survive against what exactly? They pretty much scared off every predator in the forest. Hell, some of the _plants_ even uprooted themselves and ran. Don't know how the kids pulled THAT one off, but they did. Think Anko, think."_

As the purple haired jonin was thinking of an appropriate test for her students/ family, said students were sitting on the ground while keeping themselves preoccupied. Tenten was sharpening a couple of her wrist blades, Tayuya was absently twirling her favorite flute in her hand while Naruto and Kin were laying down on the ground, cuddled up to each other. Since it was a Thursday, Kin had the jinchuuriki to herself and was planning on taking full advantage of any and all time she could spend with Naruto. The raven haired girl rested her head on his chest, enjoying the sound of his heartbeat and feeling no harm would come to her while she was in his arms; Kin knew that Tayuya and Tenten felt the same way when they were in this position as well.

Tayuya noticed the tender moment between the blonde and her sister. While a part of her was happy on how peaceful her formerly-insecure sister had become since meeting the boy, another part of her couldn't resist having some fun at their expense.

"So, is this cute little moment going to evolve into something out of those Icha-Icha books, or what?" The necromancer said with a bit of humor in her voice. Before Naruto could reply, Kin beat him to it with a snappy remark of her own. "So what if it does? Jealous, sis?" Kin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, you wanna keep it down over there?" Anko said, practically banging her fists on her own head trying to think up something. "I don't feel like hearing how you're going to reenact some scene from those books Kakashi always reads." The Jonin froze the instant she finished that statement. _"Wait a second. That's it! This is perfect!"_ The jonin's smile devolved into a massive grin that promised nothing but mischief and torment, with the glint accompanying it from her eyes also dropping reference that someone was going to be bawling their eyes out by day's end.

"Uh, Anko?" Naruto asked, sitting up slightly and noticing Anko doing an impersonation of a statue. "Are you alright?"

The other girls stopped what they were doing to look at their mother figure. They then noticed the look she had on her face. _"Oh shit. She has an idea. And if that smile of hers is anything to go on, it's a doozy,"_ Tenten thought to herself, retracting her blades back into her body.

"Alright you four, here's your final exam. Nothing too hard, but nothing too easy at the same time," Anko said as her teeth seemed to have a shark-esque appearance now.

"And, that would be what exactly, Anko-sensei?" Kin asked as she and the others got up off the ground. She, like her boyfriend and her sisters, were starting to feel more than a little nervous.

If Anko grinned any wider, her face would split from mirth.

Naruto and the girls could have sworn they heard the ominous sound of thunder somewhere in the distance.

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Kakashi sneezed violently.

_"Why do I suddenly have the feeling someone just did the Turkey Trot on my grave?"_

The cycloptic Jonin shook it off and continued onward while reading his prized Icha-Icha Paradise. However, he could not completely ignore the small voice in the back of his mind that told him to stay on guard. He just left the Academy after meeting the team he was assigned. Not too surprising, he was assigned the Uchiha boy. While it was easy to see that he did have great potential and skill, it was his attitude Kakashi could do without. He was also given the Haruno girl. Just what Kakashi needed, a fan girl on the same team as the object of her lust. The silver haired masked man was beginning to think that investing in headache medicine would be a wise move. Rounding out this little team was a highly unknown boy named Sai. Kakashi wasn't really given an explanation as to why he got a boy who didn't even attend the academy, just told that he was to teach him without bothering about the little details like an inexplicable mystery genin.

After walking for a few blocks, Kakashi started to relax a little as he really got into his book. It was the latest volume and the copycat ninja was looking forward to how the end turned out…at least he did until a voice that sounded _far _too cheerful called out to him.

"Why good afternoon, Kakashi-sempai. Lovely day today, isn't it?"

The feeling of dread from earlier returned in full force as Kakashi turned to face the owner of said voice. The silver haired man began to break out in a cold sweat as he saw Naruto Uzumaki and the Mitarashi sisters on the rooftops on either side of him. They each wore predatory grins, looking like a pack of lions closing in on some poor helpless animal.

"Uh…yes, Naruto, ladies. It is a nice day," Kakashi replied tensely, trying his best not to sound nervous and resist the urge to run like hell. Had Kakashi been dealing with normal academy graduates, heavy emphasis on _normal_, he might humor them to see what they wanted and depending on what it was they wanted, give it to them or tell them to go bother someone else. If it came down to force, the former ANBU Captain would simply fight them off while reading his book

But Naruto Uzumaki and the three daughters of Anko Mitarashi were _far_ beyond normal. You can practically hear the emphasized words there. Kakashi slowly put his book into one of his vest pockets.

"So, what can I do for the four of you today?" Kakashi asked, although he had a rough idea. He remembered the team selection meeting that took place earlier that day. He also remembered how Anko flat out demanded that she be the Jonin in charge of Naruto and his three girls.

But then again, no one really stepped up to volunteer to teach any combination of the four 'unique' teenagers. After all, Anko was probably the only one that had some degree of control over her demonic daughters and the Nine Tails' jinchuuriki.

So now, here they were. Anko undoubtedly sent them for their final exam… which Kakashi was willing to bet that he was their target. _"Dear god, knowing Anko, there's no telling what she sent them out to do for their exam."_

"So, Kakashi-sempai. Anko-sensei told us you got stuck with the Uchiha and his personal slut." Tayuya said in an offhanded manner, reinforced as she examined her fingernails from her perch atop a roof ledge to Kakashi's left.

"Uh…yeah, I do." Kakashi said, trying to keep the three girls and the blonde well within his sight while also trying to inconspicuously distance himself from them.

"Boy, Kakashi-sempai, you really got shafted there," Naruto said as he startled the older man while putting his arm over the jonin's shoulder.

"Yeah Kakashi-sempai, we seriously pity you," Tenten said, resting her arm on Kakashi's other shoulder which caused him to turn his head fast enough to pop a couple vertebrae in the process.

"Thanks… I think…" Kakashi responded casually, his mental alarms blaring as the teens just stood there, smiling at him for almost a full minute. Kakashi's visible eye darted back and forth between the three Princesses of Evil and their Explosive Guard, waiting to see if any of them was going to make a move. Finally, it was Naruto who broke the deafening silence between them.

"Well, you obviously got a lot on your plate Kakashi-sempai so we'll be getting out of your hair now," Naruto said, patting the former ANBU captain on his chest before moving away with the girls.

"Yeah, good luck with the Uchiha and his banshee," Kin said as she waltzed past Kakashi and hooking her arm around Naruto's as Tayuya joined them from her vantage point. And with that, the Four Terrors of the Leaf walked away.

Kakashi was about breathe a sigh of relief before he heard Naruto call out to him again.

"Oh, Kakashi-sempai, one last thing. It's about the latest Icha-Icha book," Naruto called to him. "You wouldn't happen to know the ending to it, do you?"

"No. Actually I haven't gotten that far yet," Kakashi replied. That was when he noticed that Naruto had a familiar looking book in his free hand.

"Hmm. I guess I'll have to keep at it then. Thanks." Naruto said, reading the book along with Kin and the others.

Kakashi was about to walk off before something clicked in his mind. _"Wait a second."_ He patted the pocket he put his book in. It was still there. The cycloptic shinobi pulled the book out of the pocket almost frantically. What he saw almost caused him to have a heart attack right there and then.

It was a book, but it was **not** his book. It wasn't even an Icha-Icha book. It was a guy-on-guy book.

A visible aura of chakra surrounded Kakashi as he pushed up his slanted headband, revealing his Sharingan eye. People in the area saw this and wisely moved away. They knew what happened when Kakashi Hatake showed his Sharingan eye. Someone was about to get fucked up.

**"GIVE ME BACK MY ICHA-ICHA, YOU THIEVES!"**

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

Kakashi's voice could be heard throughout the Land of Fire, which included a hot springs town. There, a certain individual was working on 'research' for his latest work.

_"Sounds like a satisfied customer isn't so satisfied anymore."_ Jiraiya thought as he continued his 'research.'

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

Back in the Leaf Village, a fuming Kakashi was frantically looking for Naruto and his evil girlfriends. He didn't have to look for long.

"Hello again, Kakashi-sempai," Naruto's voice could be heard. Kakashi looked up to see the blonde jinchuuriki standing on top of a building. Kin, Tayuya and Tenten were standing beside him. Naruto was spinning Kakashi's beloved book on his finger. "Lose something?"

"Alright Naruto," Kakashi said, his eyes were twitching rapidly. "We can do this one of two ways. The easy way. Or MY way." To illustrate his seriousness, he pulled out a pair of kunai. "Now the easy way is where you give me back my book and you keep breathing without the aid of a respirator. I won't go into my way, because you don't want to know. So, what's it going to be?"

Naruto put his finger on his chin, as if thinking about it. "Hmm… What do you think, ladies?"

"I think we should burn it." Tayuya said with a vicious grin on her face. This resulted in a look of horror from Kakashi.

"I say we shred it." Tenten said. Kakashi was practically hyperventilating now.

"I don't know." Kin said. "These books do usually have some pretty good ideas. There's this one scene that sounds pretty kinky. Maybe we should give it a try tonight, Naruto-baby."

"Why not?" Naruto said

"You know, now that I think about, those Icha-Icha books are a lot more educational that some people give them credit for." Tenten said. "I know we had a pretty great time last night, didn't we, honey?" Naruto blushed a little at this

"Please." Tayuya scoffed. "Those books are way too overrated. I don't need them to come up with stuff to make my man hard. Isn't that right, babe?"

"You know, you all have very compelling arguments." Naruto said. He was about to continue when a blue glow could be seen from down below. This was accompanied by the sound of birds. Naruto and the girls looked down to see that Kakashi had charged up his Chidori and from the look in his eyes, he was losing his patience.

"As interesting as this conversation is, you still haven't answered my question. Are you going to give me back my book? Or do we have to do this my way, which as you can see, that happens to involve THIS!" Kakashi said, referencing his Chidori coated hand. "**SO WHICH IS IT?"**

"You know ladies…" Naruto started as he looked at his lovers. "Let's just give it back to him and call it even." This was met with nods from the girls. So, Naruto threw the book down towards the half-demented Kakashi, who canceled out the Chidori the instant the book left the jinchuuriki's hand. The Jonin caught the book and cradled it the way a parent would a infant.

Kakashi opened the book. If he wasn't wearing his mask and it didn't cover the whole bottom of his face, Kakashi's jaw would have hit the ground. Unlike last time, the book he had was not a porn book of any kind. Instead, it was a blank book with the back of the front cover and the first page containing writing.

On the back of the front cover, written in large bold letters was one single word:

**SUCKER!**

On the page across from it was what seemed to be a note.

_Hello Kakashi-sempai-_

_Here's the deal. If you want to see the book in one piece again, come to the Forest of Death in thirty minutes. Come alone._

_Have a nice day. The Mitarashi Clan and Naruto Uzumaki._

Kakashi angrily looked up to see the four teenage terrors were gone. With nothing else he could do, the Copycat Ninja took off for the Forest of Death.

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

Kakashi made it to the perimeter fence around the Forest of Death with time to spare. He was about to go in when he noticed an envelope taped to the fence. On the front of the envelope was his name, indicating it was for him.

The Jonin took the envelope and opened it. Inside were a couple of Polaroid pictures. One was a picture of Kakashi's book. At the bottom were two words written in marker that said: "I'm waiting."

The other picture was one of Naruto holding the book with one hand over a zippo lighter in his other. Written at the bottom of that picture was "Time's a wastin.'"

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. _"They're toying with me…"_ The silver haired Jonin thought as he jumped over the fence and ran into the forest. Kakashi was so unfocused on his surroundings that he didn't notice a fireball the size of a basketball zooming at him from above until it was almost too late.

"Shit!" Kakashi barely avoided the deadly ball of flame. The former ANBU captain looked up to see Naruto standing on a thick branch of a tree. He was juggling three fireballs that were roughly the size of baseballs and had an easy smile on his face.

"Looks like my aim's a little off today." Naruto said nonchalantly. Kakashi just glared daggers at the pyrokinetic blonde while Naruto's smile widened a little. "So, I take it you got our note?"

"I did. Now, give me the book and you don't have to go through the unpleasant experience of knowing what the Thousand Years of Death feels like when combined with a Chidori," Kakashi growled.

"Hmm… That's quite a choice to make." Still juggling the fireballs Naruto made a counter-offer. "I think I'll take option C: none of the above while I give you an impromptu dancing lesson."

Kakashi was about to jump up when all of a sudden, Naruto threw the three fireballs in rapid succession. Kakashi barely evaded the projectiles. The smaller fireballs may have been weaker than the previous one, but they were much faster. Of course, the fact that Kakashi was dodging his fire blasts did nothing to discourage Naruto. It was quite the opposite as the jinchuuriki was more than happy to unleash a salvo of fireballs at the Jonin.

Kakashi threw several shuriken at Naruto, only to result in the blonde to shoot them down. However, he did take his eyes off Kakashi for a fraction of a second… which was all the Copycat ninja needed. When Naruto hit Kakashi with a fireball about a moment later all that was left was a burning log.

_"Substitution eh? Not surprising. Kakashi didn't get to where he was by being stupid,"_ Naruto thought as he ceased fire to look for his opponent.

Kakashi hid himself in a tree and spotted the boy. He needed to catch his breath for a moment. Although he was angered over the dirty tricks that Naruto and the girls pulled on him, Kakashi had to admit that his respect for the four teens was growing. Not too many people could pull a fast one on Kakashi Hatake. Kakashi was about to make his move when he stopped himself. _"Wait a second. Where are the girls? Wherever Naruto is, at least one of them is almost always with him." _As Kakashi thought this, a faint sound entered his ears. It sounded almost like music… from a flute.

That was when Kakashi saw something moving towards him out of the corner of his eye. Something big.

"Holy fuck!"

Kakashi jumped out of the way as the branch he was standing on was reduced to splinters. Kakashi landed on another branch as he got a good look at the… thing that just joined the fray. It was a big humanoid creature with long dark hair that covered its face as well as most of its chest. In its hands was a giant iron club that reminded Kakashi of the oni that he read about in mythology books.

While Kakashi was focused on the creature before him, he duly noted that the eerie flute music continued to play in the background. That was when Kakashi noticed more movement out of the corner of his eyes. This time, it was coming from both sides, which caused the silver haired jonin to leap out of the way to avoid a pincer attack from two other creatures. These two were perhaps worse than the one with the club. At least it could have passed off as a human with the right cover but not these newcomers. One of them was dressed in dark pants, combat boots and shin guards. Taped to his both its arms were claw-like weapons. Kakashi also noticed how the creature had white tape wrapped around its head, including its eyes. But most horrifying of all was the fact that its mouth was sewn shut with wire. The other was almost completely wrapped in white tape, with the exception of its mouth, which was sewn shut as well. The tape was wrapped so tight that the monster's head was forcibly pulled back behind its neck. There were also long needles that were imbedded in the creature's head.

"What the hell are these things?" Kakashi said to himself. He was beginning to wonder if his book was really worth all this.

"Ah, so you've met the Doki Brothers, Kakashi-sempai." Kakashi turned to see Naruto standing on a branch nearby.

"Doki Brothers?" Kakashi asked. The flute music continued to play in the background. Since it looked like the creatures, the Doki as Naruto called them, had stopped for the moment, Kakashi decided to inquire on what was happening. "Where's that music coming from?"

The music suddenly ceased and something appeared beside the Doki with the club. Kakashi looked over to see that it was Tayuya. She had an evil smirk on her face and a fancy looking flute in her hand.

"Now I get it." Kakashi said. "Those Doki are your summons using the Summoning jutsu and you control them using that flute. Am I correct, Tayuya?"

"You hit the nail on the head, Kakashi-sempai," Tayuya said. "That being said, tell me if you've heard this happy little tune before?" Tayuya started playing her flute and the Doki Brothers seemed to react to it. The one with the claws charged towards Kakashi, intent on crushing his skull. The Jonin dodged easily enough, but he realized too late that he had just played right into Tayuya's hands. The mummy-like Doki suddenly appeared in front of Kakashi.

_"With its arms bound, most likely it'll attack with some kind of kick,"_ Kakashi thought. Too bad that theory was shot to hell when the Doki opened its mouth, which was a feat in itself considering its mouth was sealed with wire. From its mouth, a purple mist started to flow out. _"Poison?"_ Kakashi thought as he was able to avoid getting a face full of the stuff and jumped away. His arm did pass through the mist…and he suddenly felt like something just bit him.

"OW! What the hell?" Kakashi yelped as he held his arm. There were no visible signs of injury at all. _"Did that thing just bite me?"_ The Jonin thought. Not likely, considering the creature was about ten feet away. The only thing Kakashi touched was the mist. _"Mist that gives off a biting sensation if you touch it? What the hell is…?"_ Kakashi didn't get to finish that particular train of thought as he noticed something forming on the surface of the mist.

Several somethings actually.

The Copy Nin's eyes widened as multiple mouths formed. One of them was chewing on something glowing that was shaped like human hand and arm.

_"That's…chakra. That stuff is eating chakra."_ Kakashi looked on in numb horror.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Tayuya said. "As you can probably guess, that mist worm may not be able to harm you physically, but it can devour chakra."

"Not too shabby for a group of dead lasts, eh Kakashi-sempai?" Naruto said with a grin on his face.

"I have to admit. Not many people can give me this kind of a workout. The both of you should feel proud. Had you applied this much effort into your work at the academy, your grades would be far better," Kakashi said.

Naruto let out a loud chuckle at that comment, "This is true, Kakashi-sempai. Very true, in fact. But then again, where's the fun in that?"

"Besides, you gotta admit, we're doing a pretty good job of keeping you guessing, aren't we?" Tayuya pointed out.

It took Kakashi a moment to fully digest what Naruto and Tayuya were saying…and he felt like kicking himself as he realized the simple, yet highly effective tactic that Naruto and the girls had been using. _"Of course. It makes sense now. They wanted everyone to think that they were weak when in reality, they are far more powerful. Its basic deception at its finest."_

"Uh, Kakashi-sempai," Naruto said, breaking Kakashi's line of thought. "I hate to interrupt your train of thought, but technically, we are in the middle of a test and Anko-sensei did put a time limit on it. So, we need to wrap this thing up."

With that, Naruto suddenly formed a large fireball the size of a beach ball. Kakashi jumped out of the way, remembering his previous battle with Naruto. Since that was a larger fireball than the others, it would be more powerful, but what it gained in strength, Kakashi was willing to bet that it lost a lot of speed, thus making it easier to avoid.

"Alright, babe, batter up."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow as he looked over to Tayuya, who was started playing her flute again. The club-wielding Doki assumed a baseball batter's stance. That was when Kakashi realized in terror what Naruto and Tayuya had in mind. "Oh crap."

Naruto launched the large fireball towards the Doki. It traveled at a decent speed and when the creature hit the fireball, it zoomed towards Kakashi like a missile.

"Damnit!" Kakashi yelled as he jumped out of the fireball's path. That was when he noticed that Naruto made some kind of hand sign… and the large fireball suddenly changed into numerous smaller fireballs. There was no way to dodge them without taking some kind of damage.

The result was fairly academic. The fireballs exploded on impact, turning a small section of the forest into an aftermath scene from a great war. Naruto and Tayuya watched as the smoke cleared away. There was no sign of Kakashi.

"He got away…" Tayuya pouted as she dispelled the Doki.

"But he didn't get too far." Naruto said, pulling out his cell phone to send a quick message to Tenten and Kin, informing them that Kakashi was heading their way.

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

Several miles away, Kakashi was sitting in a tree, gasping for breath. He was surprised that Naruto and Tayuya had put up such a vicious fight. "_I guess the old saying is true. You DO learn something new every day,"_ Kakashi thought. The former ANBU captain was also thinking that perhaps it was time to throw in the towel. Nothing, not even a limited edition Icha-Icha, was worth this kind of pain.

Kakashi was about to plan out his next move. He didn't hear any flute music, so that meant that Tayuya may have given up on the Doki. In fact, he couldn't hear anything…including the sound of his breathing. "Huh?" Kakashi pondered out loud.

Too bad he didn't hear himself say it. It was like someone just pushed a mute button on the world and took away all sound.

_"How is that possible? A genjutsu? Or, maybe a… a soundproofing jutsu!"_ Kakashi suddenly realized. It was a technique that Kakashi himself was rather familiar with from his time with the ANBU Black Ops. The Assassination squad was also known to use it. _"And Anko was a member of the Assassination Squad, so it only makes sense that she would teach it to at least one of her daughters or Naruto. Great…"_ Unlike a genjutsu, the only one who could dispel a soundproofing jutsu was the one who cast it in the first place.

Kakashi was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice that the tree he was standing on was beginning to vibrate. It was soft and barely noticeable, but when the vibration picked up in intensity, Kakashi held on for dear life, trying not to fall. When a large crack began to snake its way upward, Kakashi jumped to another tree and watched as the tree he was standing on just seconds ago exploded. Thanks to the soundproofing jutsu, there was no sound to accompany it.

Before Kakashi could think of a new strategy to use, he saw a flash out of the corner of his eye yet again. Quickly jumping down, he watched in shock as the very spot he was standing on a second ago was bombarded with numerous kunai and shuriken. As Kakashi was falling, he felt like a giant invisible fist just punched him in the chest as some kind of force hit him dead on and sent him flying backwards into another tree where Kakashi grunted in pain as he crashed back-first. Instantly, multiple chains attached to small weights suddenly appeared from seemingly out of nowhere and bound the silver haired man to the tree.

"Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the scarecrow," Tenten said from somewhere in front of the captured jonin. Kakashi was dimly aware that he could hear again, indicating that the soundproofing jutsu had been dispelled. He also saw Tenten and Kin walking towards him. Kakashi noticed that the chains were coming from the loose sleeves on Tenten's kimono.

"How did you like my Soundproofing jutsu, Kakashi-sempai?" Kin asked, holding her axe guitar like a battle axe. "Pretty effective in this kind of environment, isn't it?"

Kakashi didn't answer, instead opting to try and move; unfortunately his actions only caused the chains suddenly got tighter. Tenten noticed this and laughed. "I wouldn't recommend that, Kakashi-sempai. The more you struggle, the tighter the chains become."

At this point, Naruto and Tayuya appeared. "So, you think this is good enough for our final exam?" Naruto asked the girls.

"Dunno," Kin replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Why don't we check?" With that, the raven haired girl turned away from her sisters and shared boyfriend and took a deep breath. Naruto, Tayuya and Tenten quickly plugged their ears.

"**ANKO-SENSEI!"** Kin yelled. Her genetically enhanced vocal chords greatly enhanced the volume of her voice. It was possible to hear her throughout the Land of Fire.

Anko appeared moments later in a swirl of leaves. "Kin, honey. Use your cell phone next time! That's why you all have one!" Anko snapped.

Kin just smiled innocently. "Where's the fun in that?"

Anko just face palmed herself. "Kids these days…" Her mood then brightened a little upon seeing Kakashi tied to the tree. "Well, well, well. How have you been, Kakashi? I apologize for the crude means used to bring you here, but you can be a hard person to track."

Kakashi tried to answer, but the chains held him tight. Anko noticed this. "Alright Tenten. Let him go before he blacks out." Tenten tugged at the chains a little, and as if by magic, the chains unraveled and were sucked back into Tenten's kimono sleeves.

Kakashi then dropped to the ground, but managed to hold himself up as he gasped for air. Anko then walked up to him. "Hope you realize there was nothing personal at all in this Kakashi, but I had to give these kids a challenge."

"Fine, whatever. Can I die now?" Kakashi groaned. He was clearly on his last legs. Anko pulled something out from her trench coat pocket and handed it to the Copy Nin. It was Kakashi's book. "Here you go, Kakashi. For being such a good sport and everything. Don't worry, it's the real thing. No genjutsu or anything."

The purple haired beauty then turned to her students. "As for the four of you, you pass. You all have free time until tomorrow when we officially start work."

Naruto and the genetically-altered kunoichi nodded and took off towards the tower, leaving Anko alone with Kakashi.

"Just one question, Anko. What exactly did I do to piss you off?" Kakashi asked.

Anko just smiled. "Nothing at all. It's just that I remembered you saying the other day that you were bored and needed some excitement in your life. And if that didn't take the boredom out of your life, I don't know what will."

Kakashi just looked like he was ready to cry. "_I really need to watch what I say around this woman,"_ Kakashi thought as he followed Anko towards the village.

"Now, if you'll pardon me, there's a bottle of sake and several sticks of dango waiting for me at a bar. And from the looks of things, you look like you could use a drink." Anko said, helping the jonin up to his feet.

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

**Okay, that concludes this week's update for you, the loyal readers! Until next week, keeping reading and hopefully there'll be some more reviews. At least there won't be any disgusting anonymous reviews, they taste horrible. **

**For those of you who have **_**some**_** form of legitimate reason for not being able to take up an FFN account even just to review, go ahead and blame aforementioned douche-rocket for me having since turned off anon-reviews til further notice.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Escaped Cats, Restraining Orders, and a C-Rank. Oh My!**

It was another day in the Hidden Leaf Village. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, the temperature was just right, business was booming and people, both civilian and shinobi alike, were going about their day.

Yes, it was a picture perfect day… until a small brown blur zoomed down the middle of the main street in the marketplace. Some people could hear a meow as the blur rushed past them.

"Was that a cat that just ran through here?" A random villager asked.

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

Indeed, it was a cat. Tora to be exact.

The prized pet feline of the wife of the Fire Daimyo…and the frequent subject of D-ranked missions for genin fresh out of the Leaf Village Shinobi Academy. It has often been speculated that recapturing Tora after he escapes his mistress is the _real g_enin examination that aspiring ninja had to pass in order to truly be called a shinobi of the Leaf Village.

Right now, Tora was running as fast as his four legs could carry him. The cat quickly ducked into an alley and somehow sat up on his back legs with his back against a wall. If anyone were to see Tora at the moment, they would have seen that the small animal had a look of total horror and rapidly panting. He also had several singe marks on his body, some shallow cuts were visible in a couple of bald spots along his hindquarters as well.

Under normal circumstances, after Tora had had escaped the crushing bear hug of his owner, the cat would have run around the village until the old guy in the red hat sent a group of kids to chase him. Sometimes they would capture him, sometimes they wouldn't. However this time, the old man hadn't sent a group of snot-nosed brats after him. He sent four monsters to track him down.

One of whom was a blonde boy who could fling fireballs while the other three were a trio of beasts disguised as three beautiful young women.

If cats were capable of thought (and perhaps they are, you never know), then Tora's thoughts could be described as thus:

"_If I get out of this, I'm never running away again. I'll take that fat bitch's bear hugs any day over this. They're really not that bad once you get used to them. So what if she cracked a rib or two? I've healed pretty fast from that. At least the Fire Daimyo's wife didn't try to roast me or zap me with that weird thing that long haired girl had or send those… THINGS the redhead could control or slice and dice me and throw all kinds or sharp metal things at me or send dragons after me! I think I lost them. I'll just wait here a few minutes more and then I'll-." _The cat was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice a figure slowly approaching the animal.

"Hello Tora."

Somehow, Tora's brown fur began to pale as the small animal slowly turned to his left and looked up to see Tenten smiling down at him, almost sadistically. "You've been a very bad kitty, Tora. Always running away from your mommy and making us chase you all over the place. That tends to send me to my special angry place, a place no one wants to be."

Tora's heart was ready to burst out of his chest as he noticed some kind of strange silvery substance starting to seep out of Tenten's hands and coat them. A moment later, the metallic substance hardened which caused them to resemble demonically-looking claws.

"Now then…" Tenten said, taking a step towards the terrified creature, "we can do this one of two ways. One is the easy way, where you come with me back to the Hokage Office where a big bear hug from that fat bitch is waiting for you or we can do this **my** way, where I deliver your head to the Fire Daimyo's wife and donate the rest of your corpse to a violin factory. Either way's fine with me and bare in mind, our assignment was merely to capture you and bring you back to your mistress. No one said anything about you having a pulse."

00000000000000000000000

"Oh Tora! My precious little Tora! You've come back to Mommy!" The wife of the Fire Daimyo cried happily as Tenten released the cat from the cage. The instant he was free, Tora practically clung on to his mistress and refused to let go.

"OW! Mommy needs to get you de-clawed, Tora."

"I wouldn't worry about Tora getting loose again, ma'am," Tenten said with a smile. "Isn't that right, Tora?" Tora nodded rapidly.

After the Fire Daimyo's wife left, Iruka had to look at Anko, her daughters and Naruto. "Do I even want to know what you all did to that animal?"

"It depends, Iruka-sempai," Tenten replied. "Do you want to be called in as a possible witness?"

"Fair enough," Iruka conceded as he looked at the scrolls for possible assignments. "Okay, let's see what else we have for your team, Anko. We have a…well, we can't do that one. The client put in a restraining order against all of you."

"What?" Anko said, clearly surprised as this was the first time she heard of this. "Who did?"

"Takimura-san."

"Oh, that old bitch!" Tayuya said with a small laugh.

"What did you do…?" Anko asked with a sigh as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Well sensei," Naruto started, "it's kind of like this…"

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

_About a week ago_

Naruto and the girls had just been handed their first D-rank mission. Needless to say, they were not happy about having to do menial tasks that a grade-school kid could do, but not even Anko could get them out of doing these missions, thus the four genin reluctantly decided to grin and bear it… until they met their client.

Miss Takimura was a rather crabby old lady who was rather unpleasant to everyone she encountered. Of course, it really didn't help matters that she had the same opinion about Naruto and the Mitarashi sisters that most of the village did… and the fact that she was more vocal about her feelings towards the four teens than most others put an additional strain on the situation.

"It's about time you little punks got here!" Miss Takimura said as she walked out of her house. That was when she got a look at the genin she was assigned. "Oh this is great. The little brats they usually send are bad enough, but now they send me the demon boy and his little sluts? What more can go wrong? Haven't I suffered enough?"

"Do you really want the answers to those questions, you old fart?" Kin asked.

Before anyone else could say anything, Naruto cut in. "Look lady, what do you want us to do? The sooner we take care of that, the sooner we're out of your hair…or lack thereof." He said the last part silently so only the girls could hear, which got a few giggles from the sisters.

"Pull up those weeds, cut the grass, paint the fence and clean my cat's litter box." Miss Takimura barked before stomping back towards her house. Along the way, she grumbled to herself. "… damn freaks. Them and that snake bitch. The Hokage could've offed them by now, but nooooooooo, he had to keep them alive because he thinks they're just like everyone else. Feh, they're freaks and they all deserve to be locked up somewhere…!"

Unknown to Miss Takimura, she was ranting a little too loudly and thusly the 'freaks' overheard her. Naruto managed to remain calm, but just barely. Kin, Tayuya and Tenten on the other hand were about to say 'fuck it' and give the old hag a demonstration of their powers until the jinchuuriki stopped them.

"Hang on ladies, hang on," Naruto said, raising both arms to stop them from advancing on the woman's door. "Tempting as it is, we can't kill her."

"Why?" Tenten growled as she formed several blades on her wrists. Tayuya was clutching her flute and already had it halfway to her lips while Kin looked like she was taking a deep breath and ready to unleash one of her vocal attacks. The blonde simply smiled in a way that was familiar to the three girls and that caused them to calm down slightly. That smile meant only one thing: Naruto had a plan.

"It's simple, my dears. We want her alive so she can appreciate our handiwork."

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

_About an hour later_

Miss Takimura was sitting in her living room, reading the newspaper when she noticed something. "It's awfully quiet all of a sudden. What are those freaks up to?" Before she reached the door, Tayuya entered, almost knocking the old woman down. "What are you doing, you freak?" Miss Takimura barked

"Finding your cat's shit box so I can clean it, you old fart…" Tayuya growled as she spotted it and went back outside. Miss Takimura merely snorted before returned to reading her newspaper.

A few minutes later, something smashed through the window, almost causing Miss Takimura to have a heart attack. It was the litter box Tayuya took out a second ago, except it was empty. After regaining her composure, the old woman stormed outside. "What are you freaks… doing... out…" Miss Takimura never finished her sentence as she surveyed the sight before her.

Some of the small trees in her front yard looked like they had been hacked down by what seemed to be a single slice, while the others (and most of the grass) were scorched to ash. Another thing that caught her attention was the fence, which was covered in numerous splotches, some small… like someone shot at the fence with a paintball gun, and some not so small. There were also other things covering the fence as well, such as shaving cream, soy sauce and bits of garbage… which included but was not limited to a couple of dirty diapers. Before Miss Takimura could say anything, she heard Kin yell loudly from somewhere down the street.

"PULL!"

A slight whistling sound could be heard. It started off low but got louder. The old woman looked up to see a plastic bag flying right at her. A second later, the bag hit Miss Takimura in the face and sent her crashing to the ground.

The first thing that Miss Takimura realized was that she was covered in some kind of sandy substance and she smelled ammonia. The old woman looked to see that she was covered in dirty kitty litter.

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

_Present time_

Anko just put her face into her hand and groaned. "Was that all you four did or is there more?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"Well…" Tenten started to say before Anko stopped her.

"On second thought, don't tell me. I want to be able to plead ignorance at the trial."

"Oh come on Mom, I mean, Anko-Sensei!" Tayuya said. "You can't tell us with a straight face you wouldn't do the same thing, especially if you heard all the shit that old hag was spewing about us."

"Yeah, you should've heard all the crap she said about you." Kin added.

"Oh really? Like what?" Anko asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…" Tenten began before she whispered into Anko's ear. The expression on the Dragon Mistress's face changed into visible anger.

"Okay, let me rephrase my previous question. Was that all you did to that walking fossil or is there more? Because if there isn't, you let her off way too easy!" Anko growled.

"Maybe…" Naruto said with a knowing smile. "Let's just say we made a few additional modifications to the old bat's house one night and leave it at that."

"Fair enough," Anko said. She then turned to Iruka. "So Iruka, anything else for us?"

The scarred chunin kept looking through the mission scrolls. "Well, nothing in the D-Rank range. All the possible clients have either filed grievances or restraining orders against all of you."

Naruto scoffed at that. "Oh come on! We're not that bad."

"Refresh my memory, Naruto," Iruka said. "Remember what happened when you and Kin were assigned to plant trees at the rest home?"

"Oh give us a break, Iruka-Sensei!" Kin snapped. "It's not our fault those living fossils have no sense of humor. Besides, they treated us like dirt all during that 'mission."

"Is that it?" Naruto asked.

"No. There's also the teaching aide job where Tenten and Tayuya gave a kindergarten class a rather 'colorful' vocabulary session and also taught them some highly inappropriate songs."

"Oh please. Most kids these days start cussing like sailors by the time they hit third grade…" Tenten pointed out.

"Besides, these kids need to learn early on that the world isn't always a nice place!" Tayuya added.

"And they almost got an impromptu lesson in the judicial system, considering all the parents intended to sue the academy!" Iruka snapped.

"Like it's never happened before." Tenten rolled her eyes.

"So if they can't do D-ranks, I guess that means we can skip the bullshit and get into the C-ranks," Anko said. Truth be told, she saw those missions as an insult to her daughters and to Naruto. "After all, Iruka. These four did manage to take Kakashi to the limit during their exam. If that doesn't qualify for at least C-rank Missions, I don't know what does."

Iruka just sighed, knowing that this was a battle he just couldn't win. "Okay, okay. I'll see what's available. But even then I have to run it through the Hokage, so no promises."

Anko nodded with a slight smile. "That's fair enough. If I can suggest something? When you do talk to the old man, you can tell him that without any missions, then Naruto and my daughters won't have a lot to do. And when they don't have a lot to do, they tend to get bored… and I think you can recall what happened the last time Naruto and my daughters got bored."

Iruka gulped. _"Boy do I ever. It was even worse than when Rock Lee mistook a shot of vodka for a small glass of water."_

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

Several months ago

It was a relatively quiet night in the Leaf Village and business was booming… until a loud whoop could be heard. Everyone turned towards the source of the sound. And standing at the entrance of the marketplace were Naruto, Kin, Tayuya and Tenten. They each had wild looks in their eyes and were grinning like a pack of Cheshire Cats.

"GOOD EVENING KONOHA! LET'S PARTY!" Kin yelled at the top of her lungs. It could be heard throughout the Elemental Nations. What followed next could only be described as Hell being unleashed. It turns out that earlier that day, Naruto and the girls had gotten bored and decided to explore the tower they called home. During their exploration, the four teens came across some bottles of alcohol-free daiquiri mixes. What they lacked in alcohol, the mixes more than made up for it with sugar… and lots of it.

Now it should be noted that that for the girls, thanks to Orochimaru's experiments, their metabolism and their tolerance for certain substances have been altered. Certain substances like say… sugar for an example. Now where sugar would make a normal person a little hyper, a small dose for Kin, Tayuya and Tenten Mitarashi was about the same as Rock Lee taking a small sip of sake and everyone knows what happens after that. The same could be said for Naruto, due to the Kyuubi's influence.

The Leaf Village Market has never truly been the same since. Some parts were still under construction for repairs.

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

"Okay, here's one." Iruka pulled out a scroll and opened it so Anko and her students could see. "It's a delivery job to the Sand Village. Will that do?"

"Perfectly!" Anko said with one of her smiles. "Now you see, Iruka, that wasn't so hard now was it?"

Iruka shook his head as he got up to speak with the Hokage about the mission. After the chunin left, Anko turned to her daughters and Naruto. "Alright you four, pack your stuff. We're heading to the desert." The four genin whooped in victory and joy at their acquisition of a C-rank, especially one leading to an allied nation.

Oh, anyone that pissed them off now would be in for a world of hurt.

Filled with destructive lullabies, zombies armed to (and possibly even through) the teeth and bathed in flame…

[]-[]-[]-[]-[]

**Here you go my duckies, ch3 of N:AD-A! Not much else to say other than hope you enjoyed it and look forward to next week's installment. **

**I've also just decided that, to spice things up a bit, I'm going to run things a bit differently with the filler stories. Rather than have them be separate stories themselves, they're going to be integrated into the main story as flashbacks regarding specific events or otherwise. **

**Next update is going to exemplify this but I'm not going to spoil the surprise for you people until I've put it up next Saturday.**

**Til then, laters!  
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	4. Notices

Attention all loyal readers!

It has been hinted at in today's news update on the front page of the site that FF.N's admin team may be cracking down on content with explicit content relating to highly-detailed depictions of violence & sex. To all of you reading this, you all know that I myself am **_very_**much a part of that group of authors that, if they are indeed sifting through the hundreds of thousands of stories on here to eliminate offenders to the "no content beyond M" policy they made when they revised the site back in '02, will inevitably be banned.

As such, I'm making an account with AFF to backup my stuff - you'll be able to find me under the pen name "Magister_Krims" over there. I'll be working on transferring current projects over there for the next month or so, given the fact that on top of these new developments I'm moving to a new apartment not far from my new college on the 22nd, but that new place is a bit over a hundred miles away. Hence, the two updates I have semi-ready are having to be backburnered yet again (sorry folks!) in order for me to have everything prepped & ready.

Sorry that this isn't an update, but I just needed to let you all know what was going down. Especially as I won't back down, not after all the work I've put into these stories - I refuse to be censored!


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